So one day while I was walking home from the graveyard, I came across a prostitute. She then threw a game cartridge at me, screaming about how it only caused her bad luck. Then she got hit by a bus full of nuns (fitting end, right?).
However, after inspecting the game cartridge, I discovered it was Pokemon redgreenblueyellowgoldsilvercrstalholyfucksuperspecialawesome!! I scampered home and then played with myself to the thought of gardevoir. Then I put the cartridge into a blender and started the game.
When the title screen popped up, there was a picture of the trainer being ate by magikarps. As I entered the main menu, it said...... NEW GAME (DRAMATIC MUSIC IS PLAYING RIGHT NOW). When I got all the boring shit out of the way, Oak gave me a Pokemans that looked like a piece of cheese. I named him cheesy cause it's cool to be cheesy. Afterwords I went into a patch of tall grass and was attickled by a wild DERP. So I threw Cheesy at it causing them both to explode. I cried relentlessly. Then Gary came and took my lunch money. Then May and Misty raped me. Fuck you Pokemans how could you do this too me?